ABOUT
My Story
“Dorothy Maria, stand up straight.”
“Dorothy Maria, children are to be seen and not heard.”
“Dorothy Maria, stop that crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
I didn’t wash the lunch dishes, and my mother was furious. Furious! She had brought a friend home and there the dirty dishes sat in the sink soaking. My inaction had embarrassed my mother, and now I was to be punished, shamed and forced to endure another round of verbal abuse. I was 9 years old.
It was summer and the neighbors could hear through the open windows. I wanted to disappear. I had to do better. I could hear my mother’s voice internalized in my own head, in my own voice. I had to be better. Better and better and better. I became afraid to do anything, terrified that it might be wrong or poorly executed. But I was equally terrified of not trying to do better.
My mother died by suicide when I was 17 after numerous attempts. As an only child with an emotionally absent father, I was on my own doing the best I could. My grief and shame took a backseat.
I went out into the world practicing perfection. The perfect smile. The perfect outfit. The perfect car. The perfect job. It took all my energy. It crushed the life out of me. I wasn’t living, I was performing. The desire to live perfectly led me to crying jags I could not understand, brought on by alcohol and drug abuse. I looked perfect on the outside but was rotting on the inside.
When my perfect marriage started to fall apart years later, life got hectic. I became more angry, more tired and more ashamed. The grief I ignored earlier in life began to attack at inopportune moments. I needed something to wake me up, slow me down, and hold me tight.
Reinvention Coaching came into my life just as my divorce was being finalized. Learning from Nancy Levin, Master Coach, how my old beliefs, commitments, and lack of boundaries held me in my perfectionist ways, I was able to make the changes necessary to move forward. By redefining my vision, choices and actions I decided what I wanted and did not want in my life with self-confidence and a new self-worth.
VISION+CHOICE+ACTION = CHANGE
NOW, I am confident of the choices I make in my life without having to please others or gain their approval. I can answer no to requests without reasons or excuses, knowing my limits and respecting myself. I accept compliments and admiration from those around me by showing up and I accept correction without disappearing. Life is full and satisfying and thrilling daily.
Perfection does not exist, but now I do.
My Coaching Journey
After a successful 35-year career as a model and actress, it was time for a change, and I became the first person in my extended family to attend college. My academic career began in the field of Sociology at Valley College in Los Angeles, where I was inspired to continue my studies at California State University at Northridge earning my bachelor’s degree in Sociology in 2016. With the encouragement of supportive professors, I applied to and was accepted into the master’s degree program in sociology at CSUN.
My auto-ethnographic essay, titled “Suicide Years in the Making”, was published in the peer-reviewed journal Qualitative Inquiry in 2020. I was awarded top honors in the Distinguished Thesis/Graduate Project Competition for my research titled, “Suicide Loss Survivors: Navigating Social Stigma”, which was published as “Suicide Loss Survivors: Navigating Social Stigma and Threats to Social Bonds” in the peer-reviewed journal OMEGA: Journal of Death and Dying, in 2021.
I am a facilitator at Solace, a peer-led support group for survivors of suicide loss and the coordinator of Healing Conversations, a program providing one-on-one support to suicide loss survivors through the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I am chair of the board for the Greater Los Angeles and Central Coast chapter of AFSP.
I am also a retired certified crisis responder for the City of LA Mayor’s Office, responding to sudden and traumatic death scenes to support survivors. I am a retired certified mediator with the Centinela Youth Services restorative justice team, a certified Psychological Autopsy Investigator (American Association of Suicidology trained), a certified Grief Educator (David Kessler trained) and a certified Reinvention Life Coach (Nancy Levin trained).
Allowing yourself the freedom to make your own choices, taking the actions you want and creating a vision that suits you is possible. Redefine your life. I am here to keep you accountable to your new vision for you. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself.
Give yourself the gift of 60 minutes for a free Discovery Session with me. Sign up for a free session today.
“Working with Dorothy as my Reinvention Coach was truly transformative. She held space with patience, love, and total presence—while also being firm and intentional. With her guidance, I uncovered deep-seated beliefs and patterns that had been holding me back and took meaningful action to shift them. As a result, I became more grounded, centered, and connected to who I truly am.
Dorothy is a gifted coach, mentor, and guide. Her training in Reinvention Coaching is evident in the depth and clarity she brings to every session. If you're seeking more presence, joy, and alignment in your life, I highly recommend working with her.”
—Shayla